T-mood swings+a hint of romance=perfect boyfriend
A lot of recent unhappy events led me to realize something. The almost perfect guy is just right beside me all along, for a total of 7 years to be exact. I was too blind to see that. It would be difficult to find another guy as good as he is owing to the fact that he set the par too high up.
I was supposed to meet SSKB at the Bandar Tasik Selatan KLIA Transit station at 6.30pm but I was caught in a traffic jam so I was about 15 minutes late. He called and just told me he's on the train. I was furious! How can he leave without me?!? He even checked in without me. I was actually thinking about what T would do if he was to be in SSKB's shoes. He'd definitely wait for me, even though he'd risk missing the flight. But I can't blame SSKB. Everyone is different. There really is no definite action for what's supposed to be right or wrong. It was a split second decision for SSKB, the train came and he just hopped onto it without thinking. Easy as that.
After that incident I was totally disappointed in SSKB. Then I realize how wonderful T is. He would be the perfect guy to start a family with, which is something I don't usually think about. I don't believe in marriage. Nothing is forever(except diamonds). I do not believe in the idea of 2 people living together happily for the rest of their lives. Things change and so do people. The pain of waking up one day, and realizing that you do not love the person lying next to you or that person do not love you anymore is just unbearable. It’s not crazy. I’ve witnessed it all. But lately, there’s paradigm shift. I suddenly realize I would want a family, to find the one I can really depend on and settle down. Maybe we’ll have kids, or maybe not….. God! This is crazy!! What’s happening to me?? I’m so fucked up right now!! Hope this is not some pathetic attempt to find someone to love.
I was supposed to meet SSKB at the Bandar Tasik Selatan KLIA Transit station at 6.30pm but I was caught in a traffic jam so I was about 15 minutes late. He called and just told me he's on the train. I was furious! How can he leave without me?!? He even checked in without me. I was actually thinking about what T would do if he was to be in SSKB's shoes. He'd definitely wait for me, even though he'd risk missing the flight. But I can't blame SSKB. Everyone is different. There really is no definite action for what's supposed to be right or wrong. It was a split second decision for SSKB, the train came and he just hopped onto it without thinking. Easy as that.
After that incident I was totally disappointed in SSKB. Then I realize how wonderful T is. He would be the perfect guy to start a family with, which is something I don't usually think about. I don't believe in marriage. Nothing is forever(except diamonds). I do not believe in the idea of 2 people living together happily for the rest of their lives. Things change and so do people. The pain of waking up one day, and realizing that you do not love the person lying next to you or that person do not love you anymore is just unbearable. It’s not crazy. I’ve witnessed it all. But lately, there’s paradigm shift. I suddenly realize I would want a family, to find the one I can really depend on and settle down. Maybe we’ll have kids, or maybe not….. God! This is crazy!! What’s happening to me?? I’m so fucked up right now!! Hope this is not some pathetic attempt to find someone to love.
posted by PsYcHo suPerGoDdeSs at 10:24 PM
3 Comments:
Jenny, don't freak: I've been reading your blog for a bit now, and I love it. I have been in a place where I was totally in love with a guy, but he had no idea (this was WAAAY before IMU), and yeah, he disappointed me at times...but now, I'm so happy with my man. I want him to be the father of my kids! (OK, I know you did not need to know that.) Anyway, keep writing... and there's a happy ending for every princess, you know? ;)
hey! thinking about having kids is not fucked up! Although, in theory, you have to be fucked up to get kids...hmmm...now that's a thought!
If T is the one, well, I guess he is then?
The good thing is, you know SSKB well enough and finally understand that he isn't right for you.;)
Can't wait 4 u 2 come back!!
Cat, forget bout SSKB. He's a jerk.. (thought i told u like AGES ago)
N i'm totally shocked to read this post, i mean starting a family?? Is this the jenny i know??
Anyway, i think when u grow 'maturer' (doubt there's such a word, but i'm avoiding the word u dun like, : P), u tend to have different prospectives n different thoughts. Starting a family n having kids is not fucked up, seriously. Maybe, these thoughts never occur to u just b'coz u haven't meet the right guy?
Hope u'll find him someday.. (Or u have already found him??)
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